Finding my Bearings
It hasn’t been a week yet since I’ve had a job. I’m still trying to find my bearings.
On one hand, I feel a bit better about myself. Looking for work really wears you down, and going through those interviews only to get the form rejection email really sucked the life out of me. The fact that a few people have decided that I’m worth a shot is both gratifying and unexpected, and lifted some of the low-level depression that seems to follow me everywhere. As a Gemini, I can contain both towering arrogance about my abilities and incredible insecurity at the same time without conflict. I figure I won’t last more than a few weeks. My contract is not really all that binding. As it states, “Either party may terminate the relationship at any time.” On the other hand, they’re issuing me a company credit card.
I don’t get it.
Right now I’m just studying code and company press release stuff. I really need a project to get me going. I already know what I’d like to do. The question is, how to bring it up without sounding too high and mighty. I don’t want to alienate the other developers.
Understand something. I have met people who can code as well as I can, but I really can’t say I’ve met anyone who can do significantly better than I can. Pretty arrogant, right? Or do you call it confidence? I don’t know. I depends on how I’m feeling at the time.
Anyway, I’m up way too late, and while I don’t have to be up early tomorrow, I do have to be up early the next day. I’m going to be a zombie on Tuesday. Hopefully I’ll be able to control my tongue well enough so that I make everyone think I’m a great guy, rather than have them see the truth about me.