Cranky-D

Apparently 50 Cent isn’t popular among the entire hip-hop community:

Professor Griff, leader of Public Enemy’s security/step squad S1Ws, is speaking out against the current state of rap, channeling most of his frustration at 50 Cent and his semi-autobiographical film “Get Rich or Die Tryin’.” The P.E. personality, born Richard Griffin, tells Contact Music: “Rap has become a sad reality. 50 Cent comes out with a movie that’s a step-by-step instruction in how to be a thug. And sells it to children.”

Of course, this is from a person who has said things like

“If the Palestinians took up arms, went into Israel and killed all the Jews, it’d be alright”

so I’m not so sure his opinion is worth all that much. Too bad Professor Griff’s not on my list. I could easily root for his demise.

Still, 50 Cent has got the popularity. In addition to the negotiations with Apple computer about low-cost computer line for inner-city residents noted by another dead-pooler, there is a video game with the working title, “50 Cent: Bulletproof - G-Unit Edition” in the works. I kind of wonder what the game-play will be like. I imagine you try to rap, hang out in clubs, score some bitches, buy new rims for your ride, pop a few caps in someone’s ass, that sort of thing, all in an effort to earn the most “street cred” points.

We already know that if you play the game as 50, you can be shot and yet not die. To make things really interesting, they should have an option to play against 50. Sure, he’s hard to kill, but maybe if you run him over with your Escalade he’ll stay dead.

To keep that bad-boy imagine alive, he’s helping out with the hip-hop smackdown on Oprah:

… Then 50 Cent, the crack-dealer turned rap artist jumped into the fray telling The Associated Press that Oprah rarely invites rap artists on her show. Showing his disdain for what he characterized as Oprah’s old and primarily White audience he said, “[I] couldn’t care less about Oprah or her show.”

He couldn’t care less, yet he had the time to comment on the whole thing.

Someday someone will figure out that killing someone with a 9mm with jacketed bullets can be difficult. Next time you want to shoot 50 Cent, use a 1911 with hydra-shock bullets. That’ll do the trick.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

It looks like Scott Weiland is staying out of trouble. He and his latest band, “Velvet Revolver,” are working on a new album:

While frontman Scott Weiland has called the material a concept album and bassist McKagan said the band will record with a variety of producers […], all Slash would reveal is that the LP is coming together naturally, and “it’s not phony in any way, shape or form, and the band’s whole-heartedly into it.”

Well, that and the album title.

“I don’t want to say [anything specific about] the songs, but the name for the album is Libertad, which is Spanish for ‘liberty,’ ” Slash said. “It’s something that we feel strongly about: liberty, freedom, you know …”

Oh, joy. It sounds like it’s going to be a political album. How original! Gee, I wonder what they mean by “freedom?” My guess is, freedom to get blown up right here in the U.S. instead of somewhere else. Maybe they’ll surprise me, but I highly doubt it. I hope Scotty knows how junkies would get treated by those terrorist types we’re concentrating on now. They’d rock him to sleep. Permanently.

Scott has also signed a deal to write his autobiography (with a ghost helping):

Velvet Revolver singer Scott Weiland has signed a deal to pen his autobiography for Scribner with famed celebrity co-author David Ritz. Considering his drug-related troubles, court appearances and public spats with Guns ‘n Roses frontman Axl Rose, the memoir for the former Stone Temple Pilots singer will hardly be “plush.”

He has apparently buried the hatchet with his former band Stone Temple Pilots (same link as above)

Weiland will return to the Decades Rock Live forum, as Velvet Revolver and Stone Temple Pilots are slated to perform for the first time on the stage together Aug. 18 at Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, N.J. A clothing line through Von Dutch, a solo album and a role in a new film are also on the sober Weiland’s plate.

He and Velvet Revolver are also going on a mini-tour starting in late July. He is also a singer for the Los Angeles-based jam group “Camp Freddy,” and will be appearing in a special Las Vegas show on July 1st.

As far as we know, Scott hasn’t fallen off the wagon lately. It looks like he has replaced his drug problem with being a workaholic. That’s probably much better for his health, and much worse for me. His point-scoring potential is dwindling. If there’s a next year, he’s another person off my list.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

Sometimes when I’m channel-flipping, one of those basic things that guys do (entertain me, dammit!), I land on one of those VH-1 specials in which they show old videos and get people to rag on the songs.

What the fuck’s with that?

The people they get to do the commentary are such smug little fucks. Most of them need a good bitch-slapping. It’s always, “Oh, that song just sucks. Those lyrics are terrible. That video is incredibly lame. How could (s)he ever write a song like that?” And most of the time, the commentary is from tarty little bitches or metrosexual wankers who couldn’t write a song to save their pathetic lives. It’s so rare to actually see musicians say anything, and when they do, they rarely slam anyone very hard.

I think it was during a presentation of “Least Metal Moments” when a Whitesnake video was shown for people to rag on. I think it was for, “Here I Go Again,” which is arguably not very metal. Then again, I don’t remember Whitesnake ever claiming to be a “metal” band. I call them pop-metal, but I’m not sure that has caught on. Anyway, the usual suspects were busy getting their slams in, and they switched to Scott Ian from Anthrax. His response? “I like Whitesnake.” He paused. “Seriously.” And the look on his face was asking, “Why are you giving Whitesnake shit?”

Well, I like Whitesnake, too. I have three of their albums, and I saw them live once way back when. And after seeing what Scott Ian said, I liked him more.

I really don’t get those “worst whatever” shows. I guess it’s a chance for people to feel superior, both those on screen and those at home. I can’t begin to describe how sad I think that makes those who feel superior. Then again, the shows also serve to annoy people like me, who still seem to watch them. So, I guess whoever thought up the format has something going on.

Playboy Enterprises is sponsoring a race team:

../[I]t’s the Playboy bunny trademark that will grace one of Pataskala-based [Mike Shank Racing]’s two protoypte race cars in the EMCO Gears Classic of the Rolex Daytona Prototype series at 5:30 p.m. [June 24].

There were some “real bunnies” there at the race to help promote Playboy Enterprises. One wonders if you can actually say “real” in conjunction with a Playboy bunny any more. “Almost real,” maybe. “Lifelike” is another possibility.

Hugh Hefner is keeping his hand in things as well:

In fact, [Mike Shank] said, Playboy publisher Hugh Hefner has made a few appearances at racetracks, heavily chaperoned, of course.

He has to be heavily chaperoned. The man is 80 years old. He probably doesn’t even know where he is half the time. I mean, is even Hef so jaded that waking up with three silicone blondes in his bed every morning doesn’t make him feel as if he’s living a dream that he can’t (and doesn’t want to) wake up from?

I doubt it.

Playboy Enterprises has also acquired Club Jenna, Inc., which pushes them further into hardcore entertainment. Jenna and Hugh have the same birthday, so perhaps it’s a match made in the stars. Or something like that.

Is it okay to say that Jenna kinda freaks me out? She looks a little weird.

I hope Hef keeps well away from the Club Jenna set. Just thinking of him “getting more involved in the business” makes me barf in my mouth a little bit.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

There is a nice article about Les Paul here:

Les Paul is not a man to be slowed down by old age and crippling arthritis in his hands. The guitarist, who turned 91 this month, still gigs every Monday night at the Iridium Jazz Club in New York. “I’m out every Monday,” he says. “We do two shows at the Iridium Club. It’s a great club and I’ve got some great players and all the guys, all the guitar players, celebrities, whatever, I get ‘em up on the stage with me.”

He’s been associated with Gibson Guitars since 1928. His most famous contribution is the “Gibson Les Paul,” a guitar that is highly associated with rock and blues. Many of the greatest rock players have played a Les Paul at one time or another. In fact, it’s so popular that making a guitar that looks like a Les Paul can be problematic. Gibson has tried to defend its copyright for the basic appearance, but failed to a certain extent:

Paul Reed Smith Guitars is very pleased to announce that the United States Supreme Court today denied Gibson Guitar’s final appeal of a Court of Appeals decision upholding PRS’ right to make a single cutaway-style guitar.

…The Supreme Court’s decision today leaves the Sixth Circuit opinion in place and ends Gibson’s multi-year effort to thwart legitimate competition under the guise of intellectual property law.

They were probably reaching too far with their claim. They get to charge a premium for that name and that design.

Les turned 91 on June 9. Even though every day brings him closer to being a sure thing in deadpool space, the points are dwindling to next to nothing. Not only that, but he appears to be in very good health. Damn.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

Mindy McCready is suing her former boyfriend for 3 million(scroll down):

Mindy McCready has sued her former boyfriend for $3 million, saying he beat her last year [May 2005] and that the incident hurt her music career.

…”One of the problems is that, literally, venues worried about whether … McKnight would show up and someone would get hurt,” McCready spokesman Paul Berg said. “It’s been very interesting to see how difficult it’s been to even put her someplace to do a free show to raise money.”

There are criminal charges against him as well:

McKnight, who is facing charges of attempted homicide, allegedly ambushed McCready at her Tennessee home and beat her and almost strangled her to death. He was arrested and later released on $130,000 bail.

The strange thing is, this all happened over a year ago, and yet the couple has a 2-month-old child. What a happy relationship they have. It’s an inspiration to all.

The sad thing for her is, I have the feeling her music career isn’t doing all that well. Her last and only hit was in 1996. And while I don’t think the quality of a musician’s output can be measured on how many hits they manage to have, it has to sting a bit when you can’t repeat past successes.

Although she hasn’t attempted suicide lately, the fact that she is still engaging in self-destructive behavior is a plus for me. Maybe this is the turn-around point, or maybe it’s the summit that comes before a long slide downhill. If it is the latter, I hope that slide gets going soon. I’ve only had one points-maker this year.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

Apparently Liza Minelli has managed to sober up enough decided to dazzle us all one more time with song and dance. She is on schedule to perform at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall in Sarasota, FL, on February 22, 2007.

If she isn’t sober now, this gives her the option to be in and out of rehab a few times.

However, this may be a defensive move on her part. She did not appear at a recent tribute to her mother Judy Garland, though her sister attended and participated. Either she has a problem with her mother (possible) or she is too ill or otherwise incapacitated to appear in public. That’s always a bad sign.

Then again, she did appear in a movie recently, “The Oh in Ohio,” so maybe she was having a bad day. Or a bad week.

In other news, a shocking ending to the new Superman movie has been revealed:

Putting to rest rumors that the Superman character in the new film “Superman Returns” may be gay, director Bryan Singer revealed to Dateline Hollywood that in a surprise ending to the film, he marries an aging Broadway star played by Liza Minnelli.

“I didn’t want to ruin the secret before the movie comes out, but I feel the need to put these ridiculous rumors to rest,” Singer said in an exclusive interview. “At the end of this film, our hunky star BJ [Brandon Routh] has an extravagant wedding to all-American girl Liza Minnelli. That should put to rest any lingering doubts about which team our super hero plays for.”

Go ahead and click. It’s good for a laugh.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

One of my few daily reads, Acidman, passed away last evening.

He wrote about anything and everything. You knew exactly where you stood with him. He had no tolerance for fools, but I have the feeling that he would help just about anyone in need.

He lived a hard, full life, I should think, though he died much too young. He was thoroughly reamed by his last wife in their divorce. He lost his job because of blogging, since he had the gall to actually write what he thought, whether or not anyone else would be offended by it. He told the truth, including the hard truths about himself.

Rather than me quoting something, just go over to the site and read for yourself. Click around the archives. There is plenty of material to keep you entertained and make you infuriated.

For the past year or so, he has had numerous health problems. He was basically drinking himself to death, and instead of letting that happen, he checked himself into rehab. For the most part it took, though I think he slipped a few times. I don’t think slipping is failing. It can be hard to let go of our most intense vices. You take life one day at a time. He did that.

Unfortunately, he developed intense shoulder problems which were so bad he could barely move his arms. This had to be terrible for a man who was so active. He went to the doctor and had cortisone shots, and it seemed to help some. He said he was able to move his arms again, and he was able to work in his garden.

I’m not as sure if he was able to play guitar any more. Music was a huge part of his life, and for a few years when he was a young guy he earned his living playing for people. He visited my blog in April and left a few nice comments. He told me he would send a CD of his music when he was finally able to record some stuff.

I was looking forward to hearing it.

Rob Smith (1952-2006)

The American Film Institute recently compiled a list of the top 100 inspirational films of all time. Overtly religous films like, “The Greatest Story Ever Told,” “King of Kings,” “Jesus Christ, Superstar,” and “The Passion of the Christ,” were conspicuous by their absense. However, there were a few religous classics included:

Only two Biblical films made the list, “The Ten Commandments” and “Ben Hur.” I suspect they were chosen because AFI members fear the wrath of Charlton Heston more than the wrath of God. (my emphasis)

They still fear Charlton Heston. Then again, he’s more real to them than G-d.

Val Kilmer is appearing as Moses in, “The Ten Commandments: The Musical.” I have the feeling that Chuck need not be concerned about losing his position as the man most people think Moses looked like.

Although Heston’s son has stated that Charlton Heston will no longer appear in public, he did so recently at the launch of a new Starbuck’s coffee, “Soylent Green Frappucino.”

“Are you people mad!” shouted Heston from outside a café in North Hollywood. “Soylent Green fraps are people! You’re drinking people!”

It probably won’t be much longer before he joins the Almighty. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2002.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

It looks like Congress is getting ready to sew up Gerald Ford’s legacy (scroll down):

Former President Gerald Ford received a long-deserved honor with the proposal to name an entire class of Navy aircraft carriers after him. The naming depends on passage of the defense authorization bill, which the U.S. Senate is now mulling. Eight other presidents have aircraft carriers named after them, while one, John F. Kennedy, has an entire class.

That’s pretty cool. The honor is most likely related to the fact the Ford served in the Navy during WWII. Or maybe they’re running out of presidents to name things after.

Recently there was a gathering paying tribute to Ford and his presidency. All four of his children attended, but he didn’t.

“To have so many of these people who worked with Dad pay tribute to him … it shows a respect for him that warms his children’s hearts,” said Jack Ford after the event. “This is a man who never sought the office. It was his candor and integrity that got him the job.”

Jack Ford said his father and mother are doing well, despite some recent health problems. The former president will turn 93 on July 14.

This was a tribute put on by his former staff. I imagine they liked him, and it sounds like a somewhat closed event, yet he couldn’t bring himself to attend.

I have the feeling that he isn’t “doing well,” unless you mean he’s doing well as opposed to pushing up daisies.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

The vast majority of my furniture was assembled using allen wrenches. I have two convertible futon couches. One has permanently been my bed, the other has been in my living room in both couch and bed configurations. It makes a lousy couch, but it looks weird to have a bed in the living room.

Then again, I don’t have people visiting me very often.

The futon serving as my bed has had a bad frame for a long time. I don’t think these things were made to be disassembled and reassembled multiple times. That bed has been taken apart more than once, and it showed signs of wear. The last time I put it together, when I moved to my current residence, it cracked in a few places and basically refused to behave properly. Still, it help up fairly well, though I eventually used a stack of conference proceedings to hold up one part of it.

Last Thursday, the bed finally broke. I contemplated buying a new frame until I saw how much they would cost. I was looking at over $300 for a simple, non-converting futon bed frame.

I don’t think so.

I designed a simple rectangle made of 2×4s that could attach to the non-broken part of the frame and support the part that supports the mattress. I went to Home Depot and bought the wood, bolts, and lag screws I needed to put it together. As always, I had them cut the lumber since I have neither a saw nor a workbench. The total cost of the parts was less than $14.

My only contribution was lining up the wood, drilling holes in it, and bolting the results together. Total time including design, getting the parts, putting it together, and re-assembling the bed was a little over 4 hours. Not bad. It uses the original legs and isn’t really obvious since it’s sort of hidden by the original parts. You notice it if you’re looking for it, but otherwise you might not notice it. In any case, it was much cheaper than replacing the frame.

I’ll probably spend the money I saved on ebay anyway.

Since my last entry on him this year, I discovered that I do, indeed, have a solo shot on Dan Fogelberg. All it took was a little dead-pool digging.

There is nothing on Google News or Yahoo News directly related to Dan. There are plenty of references to his music, but nothing about him. The news on his website when I linked it last time said he was getting better, but that message is no longer there. I wish now I had quoted some of it so I could see what he has since retracted by deleting it.

These are all very bad things when you want to write an entry about him that can actually score something other than a “1,” but good news from a points perspective.

When a celebrity disappears from the public eye, especially someone who has been performing since he was 12 years old, it is not a good sign for their continuing health. Our host has stressed this more than once, and the logic is inescapable.

I remeber hearing his song, “Longer,” in regular rotation on the top 40 station when I was a wee lad. Back then a lot of syrupy songs were quite popular. Then again, I’m not sure what passes for popular music these days is really any better. Different, yes. Better? Debateable. Either way he has a legacy in pop music, even if it is often as an example of music that is “no longer cool.”

I doubt he has much more time to live. Sad for him and his wife, good for my points total.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

The first time I wrote about Kelly Osbourne this deadpool season, I suggested that she consider buying songs from people who actually have talent. Well, guess what?

Kelly Osbourne is hoping to re-start her pop career and thinks it could be a case of third time lucky. ‘I am talking to the likes of Steve Tyler & Dianne Warren about songs. I love their sound and I finally found my own too I think,’ said Osbourne. (My emphasis)

Diane Warren was one of the two people, along with Desmond Childe, who I suggested Kelly go to for songs. And now, she’s finally figured it all out.

It took her long enough.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

B.B. King keeps kicking it out. Right now he’s on his final world tour. We’ll see if that “final” actually sticks. He’s been on the road for most of his life. I have the feeling that he won’t stop unless he absolutely has to.

He still has a bit of fight in him. According to the June 2006 issue of Guitar One, at a recent show he was being heckled by someone who felt he should shut up and, “Play the guitar, B.B.!”. BB’s response was

“You know, it might not look like it, but I carry a knife under this tuxedo.”

Cool. Don’t mess with a Delta Blues Man.

Even better, from my perspective as a fan, is that he is still getting some press coverage.

Blues legend B.B. King likes to pass the time while on tour relaxing in his jumbo-sized luxury bus, playing dominoes and checkers on his silver laptop computer.

Just like my own father, who turns 80 this year (B.B. turned 80 last year), the computer is mostly for playing games. That’s cool.

From a musical and legend perspective, he’s doing some other good stuff (from the same article linked above):

He also managed during this part of the tour to squeeze in some living history segments for the B.B. King Museum and Delta Interpretive Center, which is under construction near the cotton gin where King once worked.

“I went to a place I haven’t been in 80 years — my birthplace,” King said, with laughter.

He was born on a plantation in Itta Bena near Indianola. To find it, he said the crew used audio recordings of his late father giving directions to get there. Hearing Albert King’s voice was a very emotional experience for the blues legend.

“My dad never told me he loved me — outward,” King said. “He never said it in words, but he had a way of talking to me that made me know,” he said. “I learned when he was very pleased with me, he called me ‘Jack.’ I don’t know why. I knew when he said ‘Jack,’ I could see the look in his eyes.”

Read the whole thing, as what’s-his-face likes to say.

I chose BB because I wanted to write about him and promote him a bit. He truly is a living legend and if you love the blues you must see him once. He is not going to live forever.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

Whitney, Whitney. Whitney:

… Brown spent most of the evening with his sister,TINA BROWN, who was the source of stories [about Whitney’s alleged drug use, brain tumor, and pending divorce] that appeared in the US tabloids. She also offered up photos of the fallen superstar’s alleged drug den. Brown added, “(My wife) and my sister are close.”

I’d hate to think what Whitney’s sister-in-law would’ve said if they’d had a falling out of some kind. In any case, the rumors about the missing teeth appear to have some, er, teeth to them. However, I thought it was meth-heads who lost their teeth. I guess (alleged!) crack use does the same thing. Whoda thunk it? Not me. I only hang out with drunks.

And what post about Whitney would be complete without something about her loving husband:

*Tiffany Richardson, the target of Tyra’s big “tyrade” during “America’s Next Top Model” cycle 4, is rumored to be the new side dish of Bobby Brown after the singer couldn’t leave her alone on Tom Joyner’s recent boat cruise.

So while Whitney is drugging it up at home, hubby is out chasing other women. I’m shocked! Shocked!

I guess those goings-on, if true, help fuel the cycle of stupidity that her life has become.

My whole theory about the drugged-out pop-stars dropping like flies and scoring a lot of points for me is apparently full of crap. Laurence was right: these people have too many other people watching them. As long as there is some more money to be sqeezed out of her, she’ll continue to stumble through life in a drug haze.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

Anna Nicole Smith is expecting a bundle of joy within about 4 months. From this source,

A five months pregnant Anna Nicole Smith, 38, stepped out of hiding and onto the balcony of her rented Myrtle Beach, S.C., beachfront home on June 9 to gaze at the ocean — and show off a very pregnant belly! Anna was joined by her two dogs and constant companion, her lawyer, Howard K. Stern. “She did some stretches,” says an eyewitness.” She looked pretty big. Shapely, but pregnant!”

If you want to monitor her condition, you can pay her for the priveledge on her web site. I didn’t check to find out how much it costs to become a member of her little community.

This lightweight fluff is fun sometimes, but it’s possible that her influence will actually be felt for decades to come. From < a href="http://www.onphilanthropy.com/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=6553">an article about a recent supreme court decision in her favor:

…her lawyers filed a bankruptcy claim on her behalf and successfully persuaded a Federal court in California to declare that her ex-husband’s son, E. Pierce Marshall, had improperly deprived her of her inheritance, blocking her ability to pay her creditors. These conflicting judgments created the basis for her appeal to the Supreme Court.

In 1946, the Supreme Court, citing precedents going back to English law, concluded that decisions by state probate courts (which have jurisdiction over the disposition of wills and bequests) were exempt from review in Federal courts.

That ruling still stands, but in this case, the Supreme Court decided that Federal judges had the authority to determine if the younger Marshall had interfered with Ms. Smith’s bankruptcy case a violation under Federal law by preventing her from claiming a portion of the estate.

…the Supreme Court’s decision opens the door to inventing new legal challenges to charitable bequests (as well as inheritances) where one or another party can claim to have been hindered in fulfilling obligations under Federal law by the actions of state probate courts.

It’s quite possible Anna has helped further pave the way for Federal usurpation of state powers. Sure, it’s pretty much inevitable, but I’d like to keep it from happening as long as possible.

I don’t blame her personally. She just wants a chunk of that rich old-guy money she’s been trying to get for years. As far as I’m concerned, the family ought to just give her a cut and send her on her way. Then again, I’ve never had and never will have that many millions to worry about.

Now that she’s pregnant, my chance of scoring points off of her has dwindled to the near impossible. I expected yo-yo dieting with the help of pills from Trim Spa (a company whose products she endorses) and drug use to finish her off. Now that she has an excuse to eat, and a good reason to avoid drugs and weight-loss pills both during pregnancy and afterwards, I have the feeling she will keep kicking it for a while.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool

Well, that job O’ mine will be coming to an end soon. It finally settled in last night while I was paying my quarterly estimated taxes. I wrote checks for state and federal for $4700, and I kind of low-balled my estimated income a bit. Not too much, of course, but I assumed I won’t make any more per month the rest of the year than I am making now. Hopefully that won’t be true.

So, today it was time to start looking for “extra” money. I decided it was time to deposit a $40 rebate check. I took all my loose change of the non-quarter variety (quarters are good for the bus and train) to the bank and ran it through the machine. That got me almost $19. Finally, I went through all my old lottery tickets and found four of them that payed off. I think I have about $8 worth of payout.

I did finally find out how long I have. I got copied on an email to the person in charge of finance, saying that July 15th will be my last day. Actually, it’ll be the 14th, but whatever. Close enough.

And no, I have not started looking for other work yet. I’m probably headed home next month because my sister is most likely taking a trip and I will need to be there to keep an eye on my father. He’s pretty much okay, but the last time we left him alone, bad things happened. We don’t want to take the chance.

I have an idea for a book. Maybe I’ll mention it later some time. It might be too goofy to actually share with anyone.

It’s incredibly rare when we have a convergence of a deadpool pick and a reference to the URL of the deadpool site, and yet, here it is:

Kelly Osbourne has let slip the secret of her recent weight loss. She was overheard telling friends at a nightclub: “Forget all that healthy-eating bulls***. I have a thyroid problem which means I s*** all the time. My doctors want me to start taking steroids for it but f*** that. I don’t want to put all the weight back on again.”

Sign my fat ass up!

Apparently, due to her thyroid problem, Kelly is not as full of crap as she used to be. But wait, there’s more:

Part of Kelly’s appeal to youth across North America is her Kean since of fashion. Now after losing over 100lbs Kelly has been offered a modeling contract - which is a shock considering her unconventional image

Over the last 8 months, the sometimes outrageous Kelly has lost approximately 126lbs.

126 pounds. That is a lot of crap.

You go girl!

I have a solo on her. Once she poops herself to death, I score big time.

This was crossposted to the dead pool

My sweet baboo Courtney knows how to relate to her fans:

Asked by a female fan how she had managed to lose so much weight, she snapped: “Well, it’s not the f*****g Pilates, and it’s not the f*****g liposuction.

“It’s called goddamned starvation because I can’t afford to buy any f*****g groceries!”

Testify!

I wonder if it’s the f*****g drugs again. Maybe she’s switched to meth now. I understand that if you do enough meth you can get as skinny as a rail.

Seriously, does anyone believe that she can’t scrounge enough money together for some food?

Anyway, Courtney seems to have more of a career as an example of some kind or another, usually the negative variety, rather than one as a singer. From a piece about Joan Jett,

If Joan Jett had never really been afraid of any deviation [with respect to her sexuality], she would resemble more one of her distant artistic cousins, Courtney Love, who is totally unable to erect a boundary between her sex-drugs-and-rock ‘n’ roll public persona and her lusty, druggy, rock ‘n’ roll private life. Between Love the symbol and Love the gritty reality is a completely transparent window, and we’re constantly being invited to look in at the broken, messed up girl who, underneath all the screaming, has a big soft heart. True to her general socio-sexual incontinence, Love has no qualms about boasting she’d do girls–if they were porn-starry and slutty enough.

I’m thinking that Pamela Anderson is on that list of girls Courtney would do, probably with a check mark and a few stars next to her name.

I know everyone loves to hate Courtney, but I can’t and don’t. I’m still surprised she’s not dead yet. If there’s a deadpool next year, she’s coming off my list. She’s going to die of old age.

This was cross-posted to the dead pool